Friends, Anxiety, and Life

We all have that one friend. The one you meet and you’re like “Alright, this person is pretty cool.” Then three months later they’re your best friend. They become that person you can’t remember NOT being friends with, even though you probably spent a good portion of your life not knowing of their existence. They somehow go from being that person you met last night to the person you Snapchat all the stupid stuff that happens in your life. All within no time at all. And occasionally, you just stop and think “Where did they even come from?”

Now, if you are anything like me there are pros and cons to this friend. On one hand, they are literally one of your best friends. Like right up there with your brother and your dog. They are on your short list of things you go to when you are trying to be thankful, even if everything seems to be falling apart.

*Squints eyes*  Okay God. I am choosing to be thankful. Umm… My dogs? And… And… my family. Umm… Ummm… OH! I am thankful for that person. Yeah, they’re cool. I like them. Thanks for them.

On the other hand, they are your anxiety’s favorite topic. I mean, you haven’t known this person THAT long. Do you really know them that well?  I mean, sure, they are your best friend, but are you theirs? Do they even really like you? Sure, they have said that you’re one of their best friends, but their other best friends have known them longer and probably better. And of course, the closer you get, the louder these questions become.

Yep, we can probably all relate to this at some point. What’s funny is that it doesn’t have a single thing to do with the other person. It all comes down to the fact that we are terrified that other people, especially people we are close to, will see us the way we see us. Something that we all struggle with is looking in the mirror and not seeing all the ways we aren’t perfect. All the reasons why we keep stumbling, why we didn’t get that job, why we didn’t get a better grade, why there isn’t enough money in the bank. We tend to look at ourselves and see all the reasons why we are failing. Why we aren’t good enough. Why we aren’t what we wish we were.

It’s at this point that I would like to point out that never, ever, ever, in my whole life, have I ever been obsessed with a character in a book, movie, or t.v. show that was perfect. Or anywhere near perfect. Go on Tumblr and you will find that I am not alone in this. Because any story with a perfect character, who always knows what to do or say, is nothing. There is no story to tell. We love characters with flaws, weaknesses, quirks, and epic fail moments. So the big question is, why are you hating yourself for what you love in others?

Which brings us back to that one friend we all have. You have not known them as long as their other best friends. You, probably, do not know them in the same way as their other best friends. Does that make you any less of a friend? No. You are not their other best friends. And that’s okay. You aren’t friends because you are like someone else. You’re friends because your weirdness and their weirdness collides into an even more epic weirdness. Stop comparing yourself to everyone else. You aren’t them. And they aren’t you. Don’t compete with people who aren’t even in the same race as you.

This applies, not just to friendships, but to all aspects of your life. Your life will never be like someone else’s. You are going to succeed. You are going to have adventures. You are going to live a fantastic life. You are also going to fail. You are going to have hurricanes wreck your world. And sometimes, your life is going to suck. You are a mess. A beautifully fabulous, disastrous, mess. Don’t worry. We all are. Embrace it.

 

I Swear I LivedĀ 

Adventure is the story of all of our hearts. Adventure is missions in Honduras and being a stay at home parent. It’s working a factory job and road trips. Adventure is many things for many people. The only thing that never changes is that it calls. It calls to your very soul. You feel it in your bones. That burning need to live. 

We live through joy and pain. We live in the moments where we can’t breathe because of beauty. And in the moments that are so painful they take our breath away. This is what defines life. What defines adventure. 

Life is being in a situation where nothing seems to go right, and yet you keep going. Life is stopping and basking in the light of the stars on the darkest night.

Life is messy. Life is painful. Life is joyous. Life is meaningful. Life is beautiful. Life is… 

Life rarely makes sense, but we keep living. However you live, do it well. Embrace it. Let it deep into your bones and fill your mind. Ask questions. Don’t just see moments, but feel them.

And remember this. The best movies, the best books, they are not full of happy moments. They are not all good. They are full of trials, pain, plot twists, hopelessness, and despair. But this is what makes them the best. They capture what life is really about. It’s about finding a purpose for all the bad stuff. It’s about making your pain worth it. It’s not easy, but always worth it. 

So go. Live your adventure. Whatever it is. It’s okay to not always be okay. That’s just part of the story. Find the moments. Embrace them. The people. The places. The feelings. These are all a part of you. This is your story. Your adventure. Make the most of it. Make it count. Make it whatever you want. Just make it.